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Pensées Nocturnes: Grotesque
21/06/10 || Altmer
This album opens with a bombastic string intro, and drums. Like an orchestra is playing. Clapping, even. The works. You expect this climactic buildup, that it’s going to envelop you pretty fast. But it dies down on you, dies down, and some proggy notes are played. You half expect Dimmu Borgir, overproduced, cool black metal.
And then, the album truly begins.
And it’s shittily produced black metal. Way to ruin it, guys. Way to put a complete overdose of reverb on the growls, making it sound like he’s trying to echo through some church. Basically, it sounds like someone is trying to layer the opera over a black metal album, only they forgot to write an actual song to go with it. Nice try, guys, but I’m not gonna fall for this shit. The drums are some terribly lacklustre stuff, basically amounting to “how many times can I hit the double bass/blastbeat over almost inaudible riffs”“. I think the effect of female operatic vocals and a hint of theatricality (because I’m imagining a sort of Wagnerian black metal opera here) could be pulled off if you do it right, but not with this badly produced, boring black metal.
Fuckit, I wish bands that tried to be unique were also actually any good, because if they did this right I would probably be a huge fan. It’s like a cross between Emperor and Unexpect, but without the awesome parts of either band. They try so hard, with all the acoustic passages and female operatic background singing – but this just isn’t doing it for me. No, sir, this dude of French-Danish origin sucks the cock and needs to learn the noble art of songwriting. In all the operatic chaos and atmosphere there are no songs to speak of, only fast blasting and bullshit “atmospheric” interludes or whatever. This is some really fucken dull music and I hope it goes away fast because I really rather listen to something like this done the right way, and not some half-finished badly produced black metal. I can barely even hear the guitars, minus points for that. And this pretentious nonsense also happens to be 54 minutes long, which is far too much to be interesting.
There is even the sound of a bird on a clock whistling. You know, where you have a little bird coming out of a clock going CUCKOO. Why is that on a black metal album? I don’t know, I don’t fucken want to know and I want to fucken murder the creator for including that.
Fuck this piece of shit and send it straight back to where it came from. Apparently it’s Frenchies in Denmark, so send it to Denmark – they can get rid of this album for themselves. Talent wasted.
Recommendation: Elementary Songwriting 101 and Elementary Guitar Production 101, over and over until they get it right.
- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Les Acteurs de l’Ombre Productions
- Website: Pensées Nocturnes MySpace
- Band
- Vaerohn: everything
- Tracklist
- 01. Vulgum Pecus
- 02. Paria
- 03. Rahu
- 04. Eros
- 05. Monosis
- 06. Hel
- 07. Thokk
- 08. Suivant
